Monday, March 30, 2015

Who Raised These Kids

Motherhood has to be one of the toughest and yet one of the most rewarding jobs. There is no manual, no training course, no college education to prepare for it. It is on-the-job training, and sometimes you have to be a quick study.

Children are individuals. Each child is unique and requires different parenting skills. There is no one size fits all. So, how do we parent - We WING it. That is all we can do.

We WING it, give it our best shot, and Pray – a lot.

But, we aren't the only ones involved in a child's life. There are other parents, school teachers, coaches, friends, grandparents – a village of others.

So, who raised these kids? Everyone involved in their lives, including themselves.

Friday, March 20, 2015


I recently had a discussion with someone about perception. We talked about how some people were 'perceiving' me.  Logically, I understand that I cannot control how others view me. Logically I know that I should not let them get to me. But my emotions (and my Ego) weren't listening to logic. They felt attacked. How dare they make such false assumptions, such false accusations! How dare they tell others what to think about me! They don't obviously know me. Then it hit me - how dare I make assumptions, how dare I make accusations. I was becoming everything I dislike, I was becoming one of them. I was making my own perceptions.

You can't control what others think or say about you. Most perceptions are a screwed-up mix of conclusions, motivations, preferences, ego, and who knows what else – most of which are incorrect. Then there are the toxic people who have their own motive for creating how others should view you – gossip they call it. These people expect everyone to cater to them, to change to suit them. It is this type of person that I have a hard time ignoring. I don't tolerate (nor do I have the patience) for injustice – for people who judge, jury and convict without cause, just because they can, or have developed a personal dislike toward someone – in this particular case, me.

I have come to the conclusion that it is best I just walk away. Nothing will ever make them happy. My health, my happiness – are more important then what they think. Their toxin is poisonous.

When I found myself focusing and reacting to that negative behavior, I realized I had given them power over me. Power they don't deserve. It was creating an unsafe environment and it was time for me to take back that power and the control. What can I control? ME!

It is not my job to change how they see me, but it is my job to think about how I see myself.