Where is She?

Where is she? The person I use to be? The woman who had more energy and determination? The other day I was trying to remember her. What did she look like? How did she think? How would she react to life today? How did she manage to push on everyday?  She was a mother, a wife, housekeeper, bookkeeper, laundress, friend, confident, co-worker, sister, daughter, cook, the one that held the family together, a dreamer, a doer and a lover - and that was all in a day's work.

Where is she? The person who was strong and capable? Who would march forward undaunted by fear and failure? If something wouldn't work, she would try something else, her fierce determination would keep her going and exploring for answers. Life could throw her a curve ball and she would either catch it, move out of the way, or throw it back.

Where is she? I looked for her the other day, wondering where she went. Was she hiding? Was she gone forever? I don't know where she is, but I sometimes really miss her.  And most of the time I really need her. 

Whether I find her again, or a part of her, I can be eternally grateful that I at least got to know her.  I appreciate her more now, which is something I should have done when she was here.

Where is she? Maybe she is still here somewhere? Maybe she is changing and maybe I just don't recognize her yet?

Who is this person?

Sorry guys, but I am going to talk about the M word here (menopause).   :-0

Raging hormones - it's almost like being a teenager again, only worse.  Only during the teenage years there were no hot flashes and night sweats.  What is similar to raging hormones as a teenager -  the MOOD Swings and the personality changes. So Who Is This Person?

Who is this person that cries at the drop of the hat?

Who is this person that has absolutely no patience left?

Who is this person whose tolerance level is nil?

Who is this person that craves Chocolate and will harm anyone that gets in her way?

Who is this person that will suddenly burst out anger?

Who is this person that is tired of being the rock, the constant giver, the solid foundation of the hearth and home?

Who is this person that is finally coming into her own and is finding her own place in life? Deciding that is time to take care of herself?

This person is finally finding herself, discovering that her life is not tied around everyone else and she that she can KICK BUTT, so stand back and stay out of the way, she is going to change into an incredible WOMAN!  Or at least that is what they tell me. :-)

Am I an Old Rusty Abandoned Vehicle

My birthday is this week, and now that I am in my 50's, lately I have been feeling like an old rusty vehicle that creaks and moans every time I move. And like an old vehicle I am moving slower and experiencing less energy. I am told that this old rusty time in life will eventually turn into a more sporty vehicle with a little more umpf and power.  Maybe that is why we see older women turning in their reliable old cars for sporty cars.

I can either be an old rusty vehicle abandoned in field somewhere -

Or a sporty-zoom-around-town vehicle..

Expressing myself with ZOOM ZOOM!!!