Thursday, June 18, 2015
Shut The Damn Door Already...
My problem is that sometimes I just don't pay attention to the door trying to close. It practically has to slam shut before I get the hint.
Some people walk away from the closed door as soon as it closes and walk right through the open door, proceeding on, no matter what. Me – I tend to ignore it.
Some (meaning me,) try to keep going through the 'closing' door, while ignoring the now 'open' door. Even if the door closing is a door I really should avoid, I will still try to go in, while ignoring the door that is opening - regardless of the opportunity it presents. I am not sure if it is stubbornness or if I am just too afraid? Sometimes, I am just clueless.
With me, most of the doors have to slam shut, not just once, but sometimes several times, before I finally get the hint not to go through it anymore. Not only does it have to slam shut, it has to turn the key and lock it up tight, so no matter how hard I try, I can't break in. And then, I probably will still ignore the 'open' door, until someone pushes me through it.
What this really means is: I am not listening to my intuition, to my instincts. Even when they are SCREAMING at me to quit, move on, get out–I ignore them. Sometimes, the bad stuff (no matter how bad) is more comfortable then the unknown.
Today, a door shut. It didn't exactly slam shut, it was more of a quiet-go-away-leave-me-alone kind of closing. It was a door that should have shut, I knew in the back of my mind it should close, but instead of me listening, I waited until someone else closed it for me.
I keep telling myself that I will learn, I will pay attention, but I haven't – at least not this time.