Monday, February 27, 2012

Where is She?

Where is she? The person I use to be? The woman who had more energy and determination? The other day I was trying to remember her. What did she look like? How did she think? How would she react to life today? How did she manage to push on everyday?  She was a mother, a wife, housekeeper, bookkeeper, laundress, friend, confident, co-worker, sister, daughter, cook, the one that held the family together, a dreamer, a doer and a lover - and that was all in a day's work.

Where is she? The person who was strong and capable? Who would march forward undaunted by fear and failure? If something wouldn't work, she would try something else, her fierce determination would keep her going and exploring for answers. Life could throw her a curve ball and she would either catch it, move out of the way, or throw it back.

Where is she? I looked for her the other day, wondering where she went. Was she hiding? Was she gone forever? I don't know where she is, but I sometimes really miss her.  And most of the time I really need her. 

Whether I find her again, or a part of her, I can be eternally grateful that I at least got to know her.  I appreciate her more now, which is something I should have done when she was here.

Where is she? Maybe she is still here somewhere? Maybe she is changing and maybe I just don't recognize her yet?

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